FAIL TO FALL
by UnexplainableTendencies
Summary: My so called ‘Pride’ of a soldier takes over. With everything I possibly have, I lift my sword over my head and, with a twirl of my fingers; I turn the sharp blade away from the sky to my very throbbing dying heart. Daring God to kill me, Relena


**Fail to fall**

'_Bodies lay around my beaten and worn feet in puddles of blood. I can't even recognize the faces that I have known better than my own. Everybody looks somewhat the same. Motionless. Cold. Bloody. Beaten. And, the 'thump thump' melody of the heart can't be heard. Weapons that were supposed to protect the body are driven into dirt and corpses all over. Torn flags flap in the wind.'……_

Glancing over the field's I can't help but remember the old scenery that was imprinted in my memory. After years since the war, the bodies that once lay on that ground are a part of the ground. I refuse to walk upon those lands for I see it as disrespect to the dead in the soil. I owe my life to a lot of the bodies in that soil.

A snort shook me from beneath. Looking down, I see my mare getting restless at the edge of the field. The memory that haunts me gets knocked back with the rest.

Glancing behind me to my comrades, I gesture for them to move forward on the trail I made myself around the field. Nobody dares to question my orders. They know why I never cross the field.

3 soldiers pass me to continue on the trail but one stays behind me. I knew who it was without looking. This person is a worry wart who always sees to my emotions.

Looking up to gaze at the sky, thunder warns us about an upcoming storm. Thunder storms and lightning, they just don't work well with me and my past.

'_A crackle of thunder rips through the sky sending me a shudder. Although I am the last to remain standing, I will not be a survivor. My life watch is ticking its last seconds'…._

Pulling the reins to the right I start to position my horse in front of the dirt trail. Out of the corner of my eye I see an over caring blonde trot over to my side, gazing into my eyes looking for any hint of what I was feeling. Looking over to give him a greater view, I never let my guard down and hide my inner pain like I always do. Sympathy crosses his eyes and with an understanding nod he goes ahead.

Bowing my head and hunching over to hide my face in my mares mane to let one quick tear fall. Rubbing my checks in the long hair I sit back up and start to gallop back to my men before I lose control of my emotions.

'_Shaky knees quiver in objection to standing. My eyelids fight to stay open, to run from the hot black gates of hell.'_

Ridingin silence amongst my fellow soldiers, I'm the Captain but only act like it when there's a problem. But, other than that, we are just a group of soldiers in the same unit. I just so happen to be ranked Captain but they all could surely surpass me if they wanted to. But, they like being together in this unit. This unit is a family. This unit is a home to go to. This is MY unit.

I ride behind them only because I just don't like being stared at in the back. So, I gaze upon my 'men' even though a least one of them is clearly not a man.

The 4 ride in front of me, in a triangle. In front is Trowa. He is quite quiet, even around us, and has at least one eye covered with his hair. He is good with dodging knives and such.

To the inside on the left is a man with a braid, Duo. He is the one who you can count on to lighten the mode when things go sour. He never shuts up but he is good with a sword which some call him 'God of Death' but that's only because his sword looks somewhat like the reapers.

To the right on the inside is Quatre. He is a blonde and incredibly kind. He only kills because it's hard to avoid really. Now, he is the only one you can really come to about emotions but our pride prevents us from doing that often.

_The sword that took many lives rests dangling in my hand. It feels heavier than usual. _

_The blood still runs to the tip to drip off the point to the ground. _

_Another crack of thunder and spark of lightning shakes the world around me. I've never really believed in God or the Devil till now. But, now, I can only wonder if the rumors and beliefs are true on the edge of my life. I you look at it in a twisted way I could believe the great light of lightning is God beckoning me to the firry pits of Hell. The thunder may be the Devil yelling for my soul to die. _

_Will only seconds left, I begin to wish for life. I want to go against the great Gods and Demons. I don't want to die alone. I don't want to be the last to gaze across this field of flesh. I don't want to leave my body unprotected, to be burned with the rest. _

_My so called 'Pride' of a soldier takes over. With everything I possibly have, I lift my sword over my head and, with a twirl of my fingers; I turn the sharp blade away from the sky to my very throbbing dying heart. _

_Both hands gripping the hilt, razor edge posed to pierce my heart, I look up to the roaring clouds above me, to the tears of rain from the ones already lost, and dare God to kill me. _

_My eyelids flutter closed, my breathe eases to a stop, my heart thuds a few beats more, and, before I can drive the stained sword into my body, my knees start to give. _

_The weight of the sword over powers my arms and slides down to puncture my dying body and the earth._

_My body stays still in mid fall with a sword holding my body up above the others. _

_With the head on my shoulders so heavy, it falls back to leave my long blood stained hair to swing in the wind. My fingers slip from the hilt to fall dangling toward the ground._

_The sky protests and booms with anger. Lightning strikes and thunder shakes. _

_Slowly opening my eyes, I see a bright blue light, in a way like my eyes, and suddenly become overcome with a shock that arched my back against the blade in agony. I was once too numb to notice the pain of the blade but the lightning, the lightning made my heart beat instead of finally failing. _

_My breathing goes from nothing to gasps. The blade is hot. My flesh is burning. It must be burning!_

_Using my all, I lift my head and gaze down on my arched body. There is nothing there. The only thing there is the sword and a strange mark on my wrists. It is the mark of a cross. _

_Eyes widening, pain rippling, I through my head back again and scream as my 'new' life begins and never ends. _


End file.
